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Nation devastated by global shortage of hot singles in your area

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Nation devastated by global shortage of hot singles in your area | The Stanford Daily

Humor by Lana Tleimat on April 30, The hundreds of millions worldwide stuck at home in observance of shelter-in-place orders have contributed to a recent surge in online video streaming traffic, causing a global shortage of hot singles in your area as supply fails to meet demand. Before the quarantine, these hordes of omnipresent and often identical women sorted by ethnicity, age and filial relationship could sit extremely still in a single ad frame for everyone in their area. But with the explosion in the number of online patrons, hot singles are forced to hop between up to 15 ad frames in your areas at once, leaving many empty for hours on end. Millions of Americans are being forced to go weeks without pictures of anonymous women indiscriminately propositioning them for online sexual encounters. What is my area going to do without hot singles in it?
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